We're coming up on a full year of the Covid pandemic. The pandemic routine has become oddly familiar, almost comfortable. The pandemic has introduced a schedule for me, mostly staying at home, on the rare occasion going out into public. I'm an introvert at heart. This schedule gives me lots of time to be with my thoughts. What more could an introvert ask for? So, some of the pandemic requirements have been quite comfortable for me. As I say that, I think about a quote I recently saw.

"Fear, safety, and conformity make you mediocre and average. " This is a quote that I heard in an interview. It's from Alonzo King, a dancer, and choreographer. I'm not a dancer or a choreographer. However, these words still mean something to me. It's a little disconcerting to hear this quote.. What artists strives to be mediocre? But we see mediocrity all too often. The quote makes safety sound like a bad thing. Who would choose to be afraid, who desires not to be safe? Plus, conformity feels good sometimes.

That said, when I hear this quote about safety making you mediocre, I know that it is true. It can be challenging during COVID to find ways to stretch out and be more artistic. So, this quote is both encouraging and quite frankly intimidating.

This past year of Covid has been challenging artistically. Most of the work I would typically do has not been available. Yet, I’ve sought opportunities to challenge my sense being safe, to not conform, and try new things.

One of the challenging and exciting projects I've had recently is online clown classes. I've taken several from the Clown Gym. I've also had the opportunity to teach a few of these classes. Online teaching is new to me. It gets me outside of my comfort zone.

Picture from BIPOC Exclusive “Power of Play” series with Michelle N. Matlock!

I've led workshops in the past with my clown team in Atlanta. However, I was familiar with these artists. I've worked with them for years, some as many as twenty years. Plus, the previous workshops were focused on a specific goal of hospital clowning. This focus narrowed the topics I could cover in these workshops.

In these new online classes, I'm working with a broader variety of people; some may be experienced artists, others may be taking their first performing class. These new classes challenge me. The overall goal is different than having a workshop related to a set goal like my hospital work. The added aspects of this class online with Zoom creates opportunities to learn, try, fail and grow.

I created a workshop called "Why Stop The Music.?" In this workshop, I explore ideas I've been using in my clown work for the past 20 years. Some of these ideas I incorporated in working with my clown partners. But as I said, this workshop is for any artist who wants to take the class; some experienced artists, some new to performing and clowning. The course includes some of the ideas of effort shapes. I studied these years ago when I was in college. This concept has always stuck with me. I’ve found myself using them often in my acting work and especially in my clown partnering. It seemed like an excellent concept to offer in a clown class.

I'm grateful to Clown Gym in New York for first offering me a chance to teach the course in February. This summer in June, I will be offering the course again at The Clown School in Los Angeles. Information about the clown school in my class is here.

Taking and teaching these online classes has given me opportunities to get outside of my safety zone. It's encouraged me to try new things that make me uncomfortable, forcing me to try new ways of working.

I can't wait till the Covid pandemic is over when we can return to more communal experiences. I miss crowded public spaces. I miss going to the theater and the movies. I miss raising my voice in song with others. Until this pandemic is over, I have to balance my introverted instincts with my desire to learn more and take risks.

When things are going well, when you have the wind at your back and lots of support, the way forward may be apparent. This year of COVID is teaching me another lesson. When times are complicated, and you don't have the support you had, and the way forward is not clear. One thing is true. Remain committed to the craft and the art. Resist the impulse to surrender to fear, conformity, and safety.

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From “Virtual Playground” with Shannan Calcutt

How comfortable do I want to be?